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So now that I've told you about the hurt my little heart currently has to stand, I also want to share with you what I'm beginning to learn. Yes, it's been a rough 2.5 years. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm slowly learning that I must play a more active role in my life. I've always been a passive person. Always waiting for something to happen. Always only doing what's been absolutely necessary. Feeling phlegmatic and somehow just wrong. In the past year I took a course that helped me see a bit clearly. I now rather think that we are the creators of our destiny. Yes, there is still fate and all that stuff, but in the end, we are VERY powerful when we set our minds to achieving a specific goal. Me, I want to be happier. In my work and in my private life. So I've started creating an atmosphere in which that just might be possible. Yes, my job is very stressful, and I often feel hunted by all my obligations. But it is one brilliant way of spending your work day: I can achieve so many things, I can work in so many different fields, I can aim to become a specialist, I can do so much stuff... And: I'm my own boss. Unfortunately, I'm also often very scared. I spent the better part of last year in financial misery, always afraid of the next due dates... In the end, I asked my father for a loan. And he gave it to me. And it makes a big difference, although I'm still worried that I might not make enough money to stay in the plus. But I've already cut down my budget, I'm spending a lot less privately, and I'm working more. All in all, I try to see life as an adventure, not a hated chore.
PS: Thanks Katherine for stopping by. I seem to have lost my sitemeter, maybe I'll install a new one soon, but I'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment and tell me how you've been! Kisses!!
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